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The importance of character development of children in the family

At present, social problems are increasingly passed on to children, and children more and more, although not all children fall into the plight of, but many of the general decline in moral danger signals in young children present. Juvenile delinquency, runaways, suicides, violence, theft, cheating, self-centered, sexuality and so on. Therefore, it is said that the crisis is not a crisis of the 21st century but a moral crisis. The education of children in the family of knowledge should not be filled, but moral perfection of moral education is the top priority, is fundamental to education.
A moral formation of children, children's moral development of a process of development, which sprout at birth, and continues to develop until adulthood. This process is divided into two phases.
(A) the moral basis for the formation of phases: from birth to the age of three is essential for moral development happens in the first four years of life. Children and caregivers to establish a contact, learned to walk and understand language, independence and defiance, keep trying with various social cooperation with others, at this stage, children can make a lot of moral learning. They can learn some rules and restrictions.
(B) to the stage of reasoning: from preschool to adult stage: egocentric reasoning (preschool to four years old) my own way, so will be rewarded, avoid punishment.
Phase 1: principles of obedience (kindergarten) I should do as-SAMA told me to avoid trouble.
Stage 2: what's good for me (lower primary) should I to think for themselves, fairness to people who treated me fair and selfish to me what good.
Phase 3: human subject (upper primary and junior high school students), I should be a good person, meet people I know and care about their looks. In that case, people will think I'm a good boy (social identity). I feel good (pride) stage 4: responsible for the system (high school students) I should be responsible for their social or monetary system, maintenance system for action.
Stage 5: principle of conscience (adults) should I protect everyone's right to dignity, protection of human rights should be supported, should respect everyone.
Above according to children moral development psychology on children moral of development course and the features for simple description, moral reasoning each new stage of formed, are led people character full development Qian further, but need pointed out that of thing, people without according to children of actual age to determine he of moral stage, because children in moral of growth process in the, its moral development of performance is very not stable of, sometimes will performance out Qian a stage or Hou a stage of features.
Second, the method of cultivating the moral development of children in the moral development of children in the process, there are many ways to develop children's moral development:
1. love and respect for the children's education is a very complicated thing, but simple is can be replaced by one word: "love". Love is the most basic means of educating children. So how long is love kids?
Love children----the basis of keep in close contact with the child. Concern about children's performance the most sincere, eager to know everything about children.
Love children----love combined with the strict requirements of principle.
At present, the love children have several mistakes:
① partial: only children of their substance, ignoring child psycho-spiritual needs.
II love: only love children, and children didn't know their parents or caregivers.
③ spoiled: children and meet all the requirements.
Child's request is not reasonable, or even unreasonable demands, in the face of the unreasonable demands of the parents of the child or caregiver must not meet, dare to say "no". Tell them which requirements are not met, and no reason to meet, to limit their children's behavior, and explain the reasons.
Love ways---depending on the age of the child, there should be changes in the way to love her children, child hours, to give the love of life, children grow up, to the inner world, emotional love; kids get bigger, to give children the love of independence.
By love to cultivate children's feelings about love, with love, this is very important, which is the core of moral education. But love is not enough, should also pay attention to children, children who should be viewed as a human child. Children have their own rights, rather than adult accessories and objects.
Teaching children to respect themselves and respect for their parents, respect for others, respect for all life forms and their living environment. In terms of respect, China's children are poor, and there is an investigation on primary and middle school students in China, the United States, Japan, United States children first is to respect players, the second parent; Japan is the father of the children first respect; and China in his respect for mother and father could not be found in the top ten. Chinese parents love and care for their children and many, but in Exchange for what? This is worthy of reflection.
2. models and persuading children from moral cognition into ethical behavior by example is one of the most reliable ways to educate. Educators to become a children's role model and exemplary, ask children what to do first to do it. Such as: requiring children to be honest, he was lying. Teach your child not to take other people's things, but take what people in Government.
Lack of understanding and acceptance of the language during childhood, particularly likes to imitate adults do children how to learn. Therefore, Confucius said: "the body is not from, its body is not correct though does not give orders. "As educators itself has many faults and flaws, so the best method of education is useless.
Moral education not only requires the education of the children, as well as language educators, by persuading directly to educate our children, tell them your ideas directly. If educators don't give a direct moral guidance to the child, and that is irresponsible. Education to teach children moral values on the one hand, while also telling the kids themselves are not perfect, and experience with their children. The other hand, when educators say children don't listen, don't get discouraged, especially in small children. "Not listening" sometimes children shows fake gesture of their independence, they carefully understand what educators say.
3. the ethical debate on the ethical debate was intended to help children learn to think. Children do something wrong, education not only requires the child to stop bad behaviour, and repeatedly asked the child: "If someone did to you, how you will feel. "This will give the child a chance to reflect on, and placed itself in the position of others, empathy. A very important way to help children learn to think is the moral dilemmas of debate:
For example: a student in the empty classroom after picking up to 100 Yuan, immediately gave the money to the school, another student picked up a wallet, he opens his wallet and counted the purse total of 1000 Yuan, counting money, our teacher was side, the students also gave money to the school, the two students any student's behavior is worthy of praise.
Another example: a little girl deskmate is a very mischievous boy, often girls stationery, books on the small table, regardless. If you're little girl, what should I do?
Discussion on the moral aspects of many, can be both people and things in daily life, can also be film depictions of people and things. Ethical discussion, educators should not directly tell them what attitudes and behaviour should be taken, but should pay attention to your child's thinking, to express their views.
4. labor and poor sense of responsible for today's children, we often hear some parents blame their children: "so big, does not do any work, nothing whatever, only know how to eat well, get dressed." Indeed, the child himself did not do, the responsible thing is not responsible for the phenomenon remains widespread, and never clean up after school supplies, after getting up, not your futon bed piled up, washing socks, shirt to throw a player. Turn them away, glass paid when on duty or, worse, actually pay people to write assignments, answer ... ... Ignoring labor education, too much detail bias in the care of family upbringing of their children, so kids think families are born for them, they receive care and attention is taken for granted and dress, mouth open has become a habit. They rarely return the practices of others, thus there is little awareness of responsible, maybe they feel alive is the parent of "grace". Such a pampered, selfish claim only enjoy, people who do not work, for families to society in the future and can take on much responsibility?
This problem has aroused social concern. A movie of the father on my back to school moved many people to tears. Is a 16 year old farm boy said the movie, with excellent grades, went to normal school, father of paralyzed in bed unattended, but sold all his possessions, carrying his father to go to school, the start of a long and hard road to school. A "back", which not only reflects the parent-child family, also shows her family responsibilities. Newspapers say he is "back" duty. It was this long feeding complex, stirred people's hearts, calling the people's conscience. In Beijing, Haidian District thousand middle school students volunteers adult probationary period community service advance swearing Shang, children are shouted out: "to adult, first is responsible for" they said: "community is we of, we to on it is responsible for; social is we of, we certainly is duty-bound; life is we of, we should treasure first step......" people call responsibility, however is responsible for also need learning of. Children should be allowed to labor middle school will be responsible for.
① to complete self service employment self service labor, mainly refers to the daily food, clothing, shelter, self service, which is the main form of labor of children. Of what children can do, must let the child do it himself. For example, they eat and dress himself, to sort toys, washing their own PA ... .... Self service labor is to develop children self-reliance of the most effective ways and methods.
② guidance urging children to complete a regular household housework was supposed to be a service organization, since a lot of labor is complete. The current situation is less child labor to pay share many. Most children take part in some light housework, but time is short, intermittent long care do not actively and careless negative stride. Some things not to do, will refused to do certain things to do, push the push, nurturing and child service labor is not the basis of good service household was poor. This should cause parents attention and alertness. Present situation of primary and middle school students to participate in housework gap compared with developed countries. According to all pupils of the daily working time statistics, United States 72 minutes, Korea for 42 minutes, and France for 36 minutes, United Kingdom for 30 minutes, and only 12 minutes. Germany's law: the child must help the parents with the housework. 6-10-year-olds to help parents to wash tableware, shoes for the entire family; 14-16 to clean cars and digging in the garden; 16-18 years to complete room cleaning once a week.
③ encourages children to actively participate in the works now, children have fewer opportunities to participate in the work. Children should be encouraged to participate actively in the work of education. School of labor, such as daily work to be completed due diligence, not lazy; establishing labor courses in school if you want to complete, and so on.
5. reward and punishment, reward is a person gives an act sure to make it flourish in the Act. Punishment is denying the people of some kind, so that its behavior is inhibited. They are relative in educational methods. Some educators focus on the mistakes and shortcomings of the children that education is to correct bad behavior, the use of punishment. In fact, education should be more reward, less than punishment, saying: "the number ten, rather than a long". So how do you use rewards?
① reward hard work needs in all aspects of the children's behavior and may be rewarded. Pay particular attention to praise hard work. Child what results have been achieved, it is not important, is important in order to achieve the goal and commitment to hard work. But many education it's performance in children can be praised. If they do anything, they put in a lot of effort, even failed to praise, make the child feel the effort itself is a pleasant experience, and enable children to develop the idea, results of learning activities is very important, hard working process is more important.
② reward achievements during the process of children's activities, regardless of any, even the most trivial achievements, education should make a positive evaluation in a timely manner, to consolidate and improve the behavior and beginning of all good.
Giving children while the best with some high demand, so that the child does not meet the existing achievements. To do this, on the one hand reward educators may delegate tasks to. For example, participate in making Festival of food, this on daughter for is a glory of task, is on she of reward, can Dang she grew up Hou, this also on became general task has, prepared reception guest, clean room, care years elderly, these are may became glory of task, may became award of means, admitted can praised she of efforts, award she made of results, on the, education who also can through expanded children power method award children. Educators should seriously consider before deciding to expand child power: an expanded powers in line with the development level of the child and the child's personality? Could not be rushed to provide the real situation does not meet the child and adult rights. When a child in infancy, came as the first period of independence, anything you want to "own", such as: eat, wear their own clothes, and so on, at this time, educators to see if children can "own", "myself", educators can make his own meals, clothing and so on. Use expand the right way to encourage this age is beneficial.
③ material combined with spiritual reward, enhance the value of rewards and incentives in the form of many, material incentives, such as toys, books, food, clothes, etc; spirit incentives, such as kissing, applause, praise, praise, etc. It is understood that now educators more shallow one, the most common prize is "eating and drinking". In fact, education for their children's award should not be mere material, combination of material reward and moral encouragement. Only the material does not meet the psychological needs of children; only the spirit awards and unable to meet the physical needs of children. Educators really understand children's needs were recently cut, and awards satisfy as much as possible, so as to stimulate the child incentive to good behavior, and fully mobilize the enthusiasm of the children, so as to enhance the value of rewards and role.
④ Award taking into account the child's personality award methods, means and strength to children is appropriate and correct, this will take into account psychological characteristics and personality characteristics of children.
Some of the characteristics of the child are indecisive and cowardly. No independent activity, see anything very complicated, and start doing something about failure. Advance praise for such children. Educators often point and his achievements, encouraged him to do independently, develop children's self-esteem, so that he could see their smallest accomplishments. At the same time it is important not to children they can not reach requirements and tasks, so as not to make their burden is too heavy. Instead, you should give him some relatively easy and simple task, noting that they are perfectly capable of doing.
Some characteristics are clarity and stiffness. Asking too much of others, unable to forgive his mistakes, and try to get any work done. But not at a distinction between primary and secondary, although it took a lot of effort, but often do not achieve the desired objective. These children should be more praise, but can never praise the achievements made at the outset his work, throughout the process in a better approach is to continue to give them a small reward.
Some children are confident, they often do not require a special effort to be successful. Praised for such children, not too much, otherwise it is easy to get kids into the habit cannot be dedicated to sustainable work problems.
Some psychologists believe that the right education education is not punishment. However, without the use of punishment seems to be very difficult. It should be noted that punishment spend less, more unexpected, the more individual, the better. So, in order to properly educate educators should know there are several ways of punishment.
① Education absolute prohibition of the use of corporal punishment as a method of education, first corporal punishment and pain are connected. Child to instinctively protect themselves, admitted misconduct, or comply with the educator's Majesty. In fact, the child did not admit their mistakes from the heart, is particularly noteworthy, corporal punishment of children in the presence of the Punisher, do not change their behavior. So, often inevitably, the use of corporal punishment makes children form a bad character and behavior, may make a child into a weak-willed, timid, does not allow potential reason people may become melancholy eccentric or stubborn people who recalcitrance; might formed them in problems. Thus, corporal punishment of children is totally useless. Educators only under exclusion external force, contact with children inside, can truly nurture their children's moral behavior. Second, education is usually not consciously control their behavior only when the use of corporal punishment. When educators are often in a bad mood, or child mischief, or material damage when a child spanking, corporal punishment of irrational factors. Third, corporal punishment may directly affect the child's behavior, often subjected to corporal punishment of children grow up, might formed "forever rebel" behavior.
② prohibited by prohibited means to limit their children's behavior. When you forbid your kids to do something, tell the child beforehand, if he can do anything, can get a bonus. Should be changed as the child development in a manner prohibited. Apply prohibited methods on young children is the most effective. For example: kids hitting them, educators clutched children, to prevent him from playing, educators forbid your kids behaviors available language or facial expressions, movements and so on. The prohibition on children too much, and it should be simple and straightforward. In addition, the prohibition should not be deprived of their desire for children have been longing for, such as birthday parties, outings and so on. This punishment no benefit to correct mistakes, will result in children hostility and vengeance.
③ using children itself of behavior consequences for punishment Dang children made errors Shi, education who not eager to be punishment, but efforts strengthening children thought in the active of, and has progress of aspects, to prompted children produced worries mood, experience to made errors is a pain of things, himself determined corrected errors, and guarantee future no longer repeated, this punishment form on larger of children, pupils, and juvenile special suitable.
At present, the punishment, a method used by many educators, however, do not make a right. Ashe punished appropriately, right, with creative, the following points should be noted:
① the execution of the punishment must be timely. It can make the child link fault and guilt, a better understanding of the fault memory and understanding. If kids forget mistakes and then to punish him, you will not have any effect, children may sometimes not be punished, especially in young children. However, after the older children do wrong, sometimes, let him calm down a little, only gently rebuked him, best not to punish children in front of guests, it can damage the child's self-esteem.
② must speak the truth, let the children understand why being punished. Tell the child what the error is. The severity of the error, what's the harm, the purpose of punishment, pointed out what they should do, and so on. To improve the child's ability to distinguish right from wrong.
③ penalty taking into account the motives. Kids ' bad behavior should be punished, but the punishment should not be the only incorrect behavior and should point to the wrong internal reasons for the children. To analyze the causes of bad motives. According to the nature of motivation, differentiated punish bad behavior. For example: some children is to help my mother to clean the room and accidentally broke the vase; while others are angry with their parents, want to get revenge on the parents, and interested in breaking the vase. Punishment for the former gently, to grasp a sense of propriety, and protection of child labour initiative, teach children the work carefully, while the heavier punishment of the latter.
④ punishment must have coherence and consistency. Punishment consistent, so that the children know that whenever you make a mistake, will be punished, no luck. While punishment should not be a lot of emotion, and educators to control their emotions and reason to punish their children. Must not, with the educator's mood changed. If a child does something wrong, parents happy, and bad moods when abusing punished the duplicity that will teach children, educators face to act.
⑤ punished not with someone else's authority. Such as: threats said the boy told his father, a teacher or a police officer. There is no authoritative educators often do. This punishment is not only invalid, and will cultivate for others should not have to fear and distrust.
⑥ the intensity of punishment and should take into account the child's character. In General, optimistic, outgoing, optimistic, naughty child, heavier punishment and strict; timid and weak and quiet, introverted children against them, be careful, otherwise, attempt to resist the children psychologically, without penalty, to curb bad behavior occurs. Even causes trauma to the child.
Now worsening social morals, a lot of people are aware of the seriousness of the problem of, how children develop good character in the family is more and more difficult things.